wip

1 files changed, 18 insertions, 16 deletions

diff --git a/introduction.tex b/introduction.tex
index a7d6e52..6b857fa 100644
--- a/introduction.tex
+++ b/introduction.tex
@@ -1,6 +1,6 @@
 \chapter{Introduction}\label{chapter:introduction}
 
-New networking and cryptograpy protocols can substantially improve
+New networking and cryptographic protocols can substantially improve
 electronic online payment systems.  This thesis is about the design,
 implementation and security analysis of GNU
 Taler\footnote{\url{https://taler.net/}}, a privacy-friendly payment
@@ -28,18 +28,19 @@ This thesis covers both categories of payment systems:
 \begin{itemize}
   \item We explain GNU Taler, a design and implementation of a value-based
    payment system, discussing in-depth how to create a practical,
-   privacy-preserving and secure micro-payment protocol that integrates
+   privacy-preserving and secure (micro-)payment protocol that integrates
    nicely with the modern Web.  Our value-based payment protocol can in
    principle operate on top of any existing register-based system.
   \item For register-based payment systems, we present a new Byzantine consensus
-   protocol.  Consensus is a key component for virtually all
-   register-based systems that is needed to efficiently maintain the
+   protocol.  Consensus is a key component for virtually all robust, distributed
+   register-based systems that is needed to maintain the
    transaction ledger.  Our Byzantine set union consensus (BSC) protocol
    can be used to achieve consensus in a decentralized and robust manner
    that tolerates a fraction of actively malicious participants.  Our BSC
    protocol asymptotically speeds up the implementation of such
    transaction ledgers, compared to classic Byzantine consensus
    protocols.
+  % FIXME: mention other BSC applications!
 \end{itemize}
 
 GNU Taler is an official package of the GNU
@@ -51,21 +52,23 @@ implementations are freely available from the GNU mirrors.
 
 \section{Design Goals for GNU Taler}
 
-The design of payment systems shapes economies and societies.  Payment
-systems with high transaction costs create an economic burden.
-Societies dependent on cash-based systems that fail to provide a sound
-foundation for taxation create weak states.  Too much anonymity in
-payments enables corruption, while systems with too much surveillance
-eliminate personal freedom.
+% FIXME: too political / cringey! (esp. weak states)
+The design of payment systems shapes economies and societies
+\cite{zandi2013impact,dalebrant2016monetary}.  Payment systems with high
+transaction costs create an economic burden.  Predominantly cash-based
+societies provide some degree of anonymity for their citizens, but can fail to
+provide a sound foundation for taxation, facilitate corruption
+\cite{singh2017does} and thus risk creating weak governments. On the other
+hand, systems with too much surveillance eliminate personal freedom.
 
 As the Internet has no standardized payment system, especially not one
 that is capable of instantly, efficiently and securely settling small
-transactions (so-called micropayments), many articles on the Web are
+transactions (so-called micropayments), the majority of content on the Web is
 financed by advertisments.  As a result, advertising (and by
 implication, collecting data on users) has been a dominant business
 model on the Internet.  This has not only resulted in a loss of
-independence of publishers --- who need to cater to the needs
-of advertisers --- but also in a situation where micro-targeted ads
+independence of publishers---who need to cater to the needs
+of advertisers---but also in a situation where micro-targeted ads
 are so wide-spread, that they have been suspected to have influenced
 multiple major elections~\cite{persily2017election}.  Ads are also a
 vector for malware \cite{provos2007ghost}.  Due to the prevalence of
@@ -92,7 +95,7 @@ supports the more highly ranked goal is preferred:
 
     Free refers to ``free as in free speech'', as opposed to ``free as in free beer''.
     More specifically, the four essential freedoms of free software
-    \cite{stallman2002free} must be respected, namely users must have the
+    \cite{stallman2002essays} must be respected, namely users must have the
     freedom to (1) run the software, (2) study and modify it, (3) redistribute
     copies, and (4) distribute copies of the modified version.
 
@@ -389,7 +392,7 @@ barely noticeable.
 \begin{figure}
 \centering
 \includegraphics[width=\textwidth]{taler-screenshots/wallet-install-prompt.png}
-\caption{The user is promoted to install the wallet.}
+\caption{The user is prompted to install the wallet.}
 \label{fig:ux:install-prompt}
 \end{figure}
 
@@ -476,7 +479,6 @@ barely noticeable.
 % FIXME: perf results
 
 \section{The Technical Foundation: Anonymous E-Cash} \label{sec:intro:ecash}
-
 GNU Taler is based on anonymous e-cash.  Anonymous e-cash was invented by David
 Chaum in the 1980s \cite{chaum1983blind}.  The idea behind Chaumian e-cash is
 both simple and ingenious, and can be best illustrated